Ooargh… sexy honayyyy.
Down’s World
A story by Patrick Hyde.
Read it here for fwee.
Chapter Five
The Library
Sunday
10am
The boys walk in carrying hockey sticks
Dressed in sports gear
Attached to the building is a sporting complex
The boys get their exercise there
Pal Zee plugs in his hand at the Ai station
Pal Zee: boys I’ll be very quick
Joe is the only one who cares
Jeremy: Frog dog in instrumentation
Joe goes up to the screen with a waving, cartoon bear
He scans his Harry Potter book under it
Jeremy: Oh sweetie. There there
As the bear chimes: Happy reading.
Enjoy it
Jeremy: Salutation station bear!
Joel: Germy. not fair…
Nick: Looking at palzee:
What’s he doing there?
Joel: He’s finding a way to fix it
Nick: What?
Joel: Some girls at the nightclubs, stupid
He’s finding them for us on there!
Nick finally gets it
Nick: Oh yeah…
In fact Pal Zee never goes on the internet
Dr Streisenhem believed the truth
has been greatly compromised on there
Since news basically became opinions,
most of them stupid
The doctor said so called ‘fake news’ dominated everywhere
Not to mention the amount of violence
and pornography on it
Since then, the library became one
of the few remaining sources where
People could actually find facts
in books that were vetted
So, instead of filling Pal Zee with theories about Illuminati,
pedophile current affairs
Whereas the trolls and incels
refused to trust it
For him the library was a place for those
who had had all that they could bear
Pal Zee finds his book and downloads it:
The Cycle of Video Gaming
Violence and Despair
The boys get restless
Jeremy: iClaudius equally squared!
Joel is the first to hear it
Joel looks: Whats that? Who’s there?
Linda amongst shelves creeping with her gun
Here, you fucking freak show puppets!
She doesn’t see Joel hiding
behind an easy chair
Her gun pointing at the boys as she raises it
She stops with her back to Joel and stares
Linda: Where’s the other one?
Joel stands up quick
and swings his hockey stick: Arrrrghhhhh
He whacks her full on her noggin square
Linda lies unconscious
The boys and Pal Zee just stare
The library is a place of culture and civilisation
Whines Pal Zee
Pal Zee: Joel, why did you do it?!
Joel: She’s a bully and she’s not fair!
Pal Zee: So, that’s how you excuse it?
Joel: Well, yeah.
The boys: Yeah.
In the people mover, Linda lies unconscious,
slumped in the passenger seat
A lump under her messed up hair
Pal Zee: You could have killed somebody
Joel looks solemn: I don’t care
Palzee: She might need surgery
Joe at the back: Ta ta take her there
One thing palzee was equipped for is emergencies
Of that importance his creator was well aware
Pal Zee pulls in the driveway hurriedly
Carries her inside
And prepares to administer the appropriate medical care
He runs scans and plugs her into a monitor
Pal Zee: He’s lucky it shows
only a concussion there
He looks at a picture of her brain
Pal Zee: I’ll admit she gave me a scare
The boys sit on their beds in their own rooms
Sent to time-out there
Pal Zee: Of the repercussions of violence
The boys need to be made fully aware
Approximately 5pm
Pal Zee softly: There we are…
He carefully adjusts Linda’s bandaging
She wakes up thinking she’s in Afghanistan
She sees a soldier bot:
Take your stinking paws off me!!!
Pal Zee walks back holding up his hands
Joel shouts from his room: Bully!!!
Linda sees something odd but still familiar
She is far off but right here, panicking
Her eyes grow big: You killed every last man
Our entire outpost…
After then I couldn’t see…
Pal Zee injects a sedative into her arm,
she mumbles painlessly
Linda’s stare goes far Pal Zee’s Zen chip
tells him something
He leaves the room
Together they shake hands
Okay, you can trust me
Says Joel as he comes in to the medic room with Pal Zee
Pal Zee in Siri voice number twenty three:
Soldier: I want you to meet your
new commander
Joel: Yesh that’s me
Pal Zee, aside: Remember… Like a man
Joel: Oh… Soldjah, your report for me!!!
Joel salutes
He and Linda stare at each other
Linda is not sure of what she sees
Linda is off in a daze but awake
Pal Zee leaves
Aside to Joel: Remember, like a man
Joel: Thads me
Linda: Special Forces Australian Commandoes
Joel: Urm… who are the survivors?
Palzee stands outside the door listening
Linda: They’re all gone for Christ’s sake
Palzee outside: Who are…
Joel: Yeah, who are?
Linda: The drones…
Linda distraught: I don’t know where I am
Palzee outside: Joel…
Joel: Argh…. You’re, you’re In our army
Linda looks into the wall: Who are?
Joel: I’m a real soldier
She looks him up and down quietly
In his combat Iron Man onesie
Linda worriedly: Yes you are
Palzee through the door: Trust me?
Joel: Oh yeah, you can trust me
Linda: Foxy? What happened to you?
Joel: Why?
Linda: You’re, you’re shorter
Joel shouts to Pal Zee: She’s a bully!
Pal Zee says softly: Tell her who you are
Joel: I am um… I am commander of this..
The Australian Army
Joel stands and salutes
Linda: why did you do that to me, Foxy?
Linda looks unhappy
Joel: I’m sowy
He says, guilty
Linda is groggy but relieved:
But what about the others?
Joel: Yeah urm, Joe, Nick and Germy
Linda: And you too my mate, she beams
She wraps her arms around Joel
Hugs him tight
Joel giggles and hugs her back
Joel: That’s okay
Linda squeezes: I miss you, Foxy
Joel grins: Ooargh… sexy honayyyy
She lets go and lies down faintly
Joel walks out the door proudly
To Pal Zee: She le le loves me
He claps hands excitedly
Pal Zee: Siri. Give me everything I have
on PTSD
Joel pats Pal Zee on the stomach:
What have you got my lovely?
Oh my! A baby!
He jumps up and down and claps loudly
Pal Zee: Joel, we have to find out what this is, you see?
He locks the door with a key
They walk off and get dinner ready
Track One:
Voice Recording
Perth, Western Australia
Sunday 25 September 2050
7:22pm
Foxy:
I found this one at the Krispy Kreme
Stuffing himself full of doughnuts
Surrounded by rubbish and cartons
He was just sitting there feeding
He didn’t even notice me
His chubby little fingers he was licking
Before pushing the menu touch screen
A robot voice said: Coming right up
He pushed a note in
To the machine sitting next to him
As whirring started in the kitchen
The sounds and smells of baking
This chubby little man sat bouncing
Make sure it’s chogolate glazing!
Finally, he looked up
Where did you come from?!
His round little face smeared
with brown frosting
It was just like that green, Ghostbusters thing
He jumped up and ran around squealing
He was all out of breath, throwing doughnuts
I shouted: Enough!!
He cursed me: Fuck off, get gone!
But he slumped like a blob into a plastic chair
To stop himself from wheezing
His whole body jiggled as he laughed
and said to me
Who the fuck are you? I’m Tony
His shirt rode up, showing his gut:
I couldn’t help it
I sighed: What the fuck?
He said: I don’t want to be alone
He looked upset and said: It’s not fair,
nobody fuckin’ cares
Then he said: I need the toilet, scuze me
I couldn’t believe what my eyes
were telling me
He made his way over there
Then he snapped at me
He finished, came out and picked his order up: Alright let’s go, he said
He put his arm around me
And we walked out as if we were two dear old, closest buddies
It’s like he’s sent from hell
He never shuts up
Not to mention all the farting
** Voice **
Hello darling!
**Rustling**
Fuck off now I’m talking
Anyway, he smells
First is to get him all washed up
Tony: Hello darling, gay boy
Look mate A little peace is all I’m asking
I’d better go now
At least to get him clean
Tony: And chogolate Kwispy Kweme!!!
