I’ve got a pwoblem with my bum.
Down’s World
A story by Patrick Hyde.
Read it here for fwee.
Chapter Three
The Kitchen
Monday
Approximately 5pm
Linda and Foxy sit with hot coffees at the table
Linda: I can’t believe it’s actually you
Foxy cheerful: Well, you and I, we do know about survival
Foxy: The only question is now, what do we do?Tony walks in with the little moustache man
Tony: This is my cousin, Nigel
As Joel and a little bald headed man loudly pass through
Nigel wears a cap and shirt that says 'Eagles'
Nigel: Who are you two?
Foxy: We’re just regular people
Tony: Foxy’s a loser
Linda: Be careful
As Nigel and Tony squeeze Foxy
and don’t let go
Linda: Be gentle
Tony does a big fart and Nigel says: Peeyew!
Pal Zee walks in carrying a bag of footballs
Pal Zee: Some of us are going to the park
I’ll leave the others with you
Tony: I don’t give a fuck
As half a dozen little cherub men
walk through
They look excited as they whoop it up
Linda looks confused:
What the fuck have we gotten into?
Foxy: I don’t know, I think they’re kinda fun
Linda: The robot set me up in the house
next door
Linda: He won’t tell me where he put my gun
Foxy: What do you need it for?
Linda grins: I don’t know Foxy… have some fun
Foxy: you haven’t changed at all
Tony farts: I’ve got a pwoblem with my bum
Tony opens the fridge door
He pulls out a plate of chicken
It slips off the plate and onto the floor
Linda: This Friday is my birthday
Tony picks it up, puts it back
and shuts the door
Foxy: I’m sure we’ll celebrate the day
Linda: A decent drink is all I’m asking for